


While the Guildmaster is Away

by All_My_Characters_Are_Dead



Series: Mages and Familiars [28]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/F, M/M, rated for angry language and implied intimate relations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-23 01:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6099771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_My_Characters_Are_Dead/pseuds/All_My_Characters_Are_Dead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Iwaizumi takes Oikawa for some mandatory recuperation, Kindaichi, Yahaba, and Kiyoko are left in charge of Aoba Josei.<br/>With spells going awry, Kunimi falling asleep all the time, and Kyoutani either glaring at people or bringing home strays, will Oikawa even believe their reports when he gets back?</p><p>Or: The One With Shenanigans and No One Dies</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beast

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to write Yahaba and Kyoutani again, okay? Look, I wrote Kiyoko and Yachi too!
> 
> Or: Lighthearted Shenanigans for the Soul

Yahaba wasn't sure why Kindaichi was interrupting his meal with a more-than-slightly distressed expression, and he really didn't want to know, but he figured he should ask anyway.

"Calm down and just say it," Yahaba said calmly after Kindaichi had stumbled over his words for several minutes, trying to explain something to Yahaba. The only words Yahaba had been able to make out were 'Oikawa', 'gone', and 'tossed', which didn't really fit together in any way that Yahaba thought was good. Kindaichi took a deep breath, seemingly taking some measure of reassurance from Yahaba's calm demeanor.

"Iwaizumi took Oikawa," Kindaichi said. Yahaba raised an eyebrow, silently prompting Kindaichi to continue. "He just...tossed him over his shoulder and vanished. He said I'm in charge?" The last bit came out as a question, and Yahaba sighed.

"Of course you're in charge if those two are off somewhere. You're the highest ranking mage after Oikawa," Yahaba reminded him. Kindaichi didn't look pleased with that. The air mage had been Oikawa's third for long enough that he was used to leading, and it had been long enough since Matsukawa died that Kindaichi was also used to filling that void, but apparently the idea of being left actualy in charge was daunting for him. "You'll be fine, Kindaichi. Did Iwaizumi say anything else?"

"Just that you and Kiyoko would help me," Kindaichi replied. Yahaba nodded thoughtfully. As the head healer, Kiyoko was used to making decisions that would affect large numbers of people, or make the difference between life and death. And since Yahaba had been the only mage completely uninjured after the war, he'd been taking on more responsibility around the Guild Hall while everyone else recovered.

"Of course I'll help. Kiyoko will, too," Yahaba added. "Let's go talk to her." He stood, deposited his dishes at the counter where the mage trainees in charge of cleaning for the day would take care of them, and then walked with Kindaichi toward the healers' wing. "Where's Kunimi?" the earth mage asked, noticing that Kindaichi's familiar was nowhere to be found.

"He's asleep," Kindaichi answered. "The air has been really dry lately, so he gets tired more easily." Yahaba decided not to point out that the lake spirit was notorious for being kind of sleepy anyway. "What about Kyoutani?" Yahaba shrugged.

"Don't know. Haven't seen him today," he said. It wasn't unusual for his familiar to wander off, though usually he got permission first. A crash and a snarl, followed by a shriek that left both mages' ears ringing had them picking up their pace, Kindaichi's expression full of dread and Yahaba's twisted with resignation. They reached the healers' wing and found Kiyoko calmly standing between Yachi, who was on the ground in the corner, doing her best imitation of a puddle of terror, and a very large, very grumpy golden-furred wolf. Kindaichi paled, though he reached for his magic. He was nervous around the wolf, just like most of the Guild, but Kindaichi wasn't about to let that stop him from protecting their healers if he needed to. Yahaba put a hand on Kindaichi's arm and shook his head when the other mage glanced at him. Kindaichi tried not to look relieved as Yahaba approached the wolf, swatting the creature's hip firmly enough to get its attention. The wolf turned its head, glaring at Yahaba, who stared right back. "Quit intimidating the baby crow," Yahaba ordered, glancing pointedly at Yachi. She wasn't technically young enough to call her a baby crow, even though she had been a member of the forest's crow group before she became Kiyoko's familiar. The wolf followed Yahaba's glance, and then its ears flattened, and its tail drooped just the slightest bit. "Turn back," Yahaba said firmly. The wolf obeyed, shrinking into the human form of Yahaba's familiar. With the wolf no longer dominating the room, Yachi straightened, seemingly slightly less nervous.

"What happened?" Kindaichi asked, walking up to them. He was less nervous when Kyoutani wasn't in the shape of a wolf large enough to quite literally bite someone's head off.

"Yachi got scared," Kiyoko explained.

"So he attacked her?" Kindaichi glared at Kyoutani, who stared back sullenly. Kiyoko shook her head.

"Kyoutani, why were you injured?" Yahaba asked. He knew his familiar wasn't sick, so that left being injured to explain why he was in the healers' wing.

"There were some bandits nearby. That crow who's friends with Yachi mentioned them on his way in yesterday," Kyoutani said. Kindaichi frowned, about to ask what that had to do with anything, then paused, understanding washing over him.

"I asked who hurt him, and he told us," Kiyoko explained.

"I'm sorry!" Yachi squeaked. "When I heard, I got scared..." Yahaba smiled calmly at her.

"It's all right. You know Kyoutani wasn't going to attack you, right?" the earth mage said. Yachi nodded hesitantly, then got to her feet, though she stuck close enough to Kiyoko's side that if the mage wasn't used to similar behavior, she would have tripped over her familiar.

"Sorry," Kyoutani grumbled. Yahaba patted his familiar's shoulder.

"It's okay," Kiyoko said softly. "We should have remembered how strong your instincts are after a fight." She glanced at Yahaba, and the earth mage was sure the healer was remembering the aftermath of the final battle. She and Yachi had finished healing one of Karasuno's familiars - Yahaba couldn't remember his name - and were resting, recharging for the next patient, when the lower-ranked healers had come to them, begging for someone to _please just make the wolf stop_ , because even though Yahaba hadn't been injured, he'd been too exhausted to move, and Kyoutani had refused to let anyone near him, snapping and snarling at anyone who came too close. Kiyoko, worn out from healing that suppressor demon whose name Yahaba couldn't remember, had practically glided over to Kyoutani and informed him that he was scaring Yachi and everyone else, and so he should stop growling so much. Kyoutani hadn't been entirely sure how to react to that, so he'd just kind of laid down between Yahaba and everyone else and reduced his protectiveness to giving glares to anyone who approached. An unfortunate side effect of that day was that the Guild members in general came to believe that there were three people in the world who weren't afraid of Kyoutani, and they were Iwaizumi, Yahaba, and Kiyoko, so any time Yahaba or Kyoutani needed healing, the healers sent them to Kiyoko.

"I'm assuming the bandits are taken care of," Yahaba said calmly.

"I'll send a patrol to make sure," Kindaichi replied. He left, and Yahaba glanced at Kyoutani, then turned to Kiyoko.

"How badly was he hurt?" the earth mage asked, because Kyoutani never admitted the full extent of his injuries if he could help it, but Kiyoko and Yachi would tell him.

"The worst of it was a bruised rib," Kiyoko answered. "What did you and Kindaichi want?" she added curiously.

"Ah, apparently Iwaizumi has kidnapped Oikawa and left Kindaichi in charge," Yahaba sighed.

"I'll help however I can," the healer assured him before he even asked. "I'm assuming Kindaichi requested your help, too?" Yahaba nodded.

"They left?" Kyoutani frowned. Yahaba turned and leveled a stern look at his familiar.

"Don't think that means you and I won't be having a long talk about you running off fighting bandits by yourself," the earth mage said firmly. Kyoutani avoided meeting his gaze, so the mage stepped forward and murmured in his ear, low enough so Kiyoko and Yachi wouldn't hear, "I mean it, Kentarou. Don't try to escape." Then Yahaba smiled at the two healers before leaving the room, wondering where Kindaichi had gone.


	2. The Legend of the Blue Castle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter dedicated to Arghnon and Scarheart99789 for being happy with my self-indulgence as I write more Yahaba and Kyoutani.  
> Also, here's that Aoba Josei origin tale (sort of) that someone wanted.

Yahaba was currently regretting his life choices. He didn't know why he'd let Kindaichi talk him into handling the new mages. Well, he did. Yahaba had thought he would be evaluating their magical abilities, especially the former Windswept members who had joined them after the war. He hadn't realized that what was on the schedule for the new members was a history lesson. Or, rather a legend. Yahaba sighed, wishing Oikawa had just told them the legend before he'd overworked himself enough to make Iwaizumi kidnap him. But no, Yahaba was left to recite the legend, and since he'd decided to keep Kyoutani with him to prevent another incident like the one with the bandits - Kindaichi's patrol hadn't found any trace of the poor souls who had dared cause trouble inside Aoba Josei's territory - the earth mage knew he was in for a very, very long afternoon.

"All right, listen up," Yahaba sighed. The mages, assembled in the courtyard, surrounded by the blue-gray walls of the fortress, continued chatting amongst themselves happily. Yahaba's eyes narrowed, but before he could raise his voice, Kyoutani got their attention by shifting to wolf form and _roaring_. The mages shrank back, silent and suitably terrified. Yahaba glared at Kyoutani, who wagged his tail sheepishly and returned to human form. The wide-eyed gazes of the new mages shifted from the apparently ferocious familiar to the earth mage who brought him to heel with one look. "Are you paying attention now?" They all nodded hastily. "Good. I'm going to tell you the legend of how our Guild was founded." The mages listened intently as Yahaba recited the story he had been told shortly after he joined, of a water mage named Irihata and his familiar, an ancient and powerful river spirit named Mizoguchi, who protected the village they had grown up in, and how the two knew that once Irihata died, the town would still need protection, so they gathered promising young mages from the area and trained them, slowly building up a fortress for the next generation of protectors to use in the village's defense. "And when Irihata died, Mizoguchi channeled both of their souls into the fortress walls, the blue of their magics blending with the gray of the stones. Their power protects us still, as we protect the village and surrounding lands," Yahaba finished, ignoring the restless shifting of Kyoutani at the edge of his vision. The guardian spirit had been getting less and less content to sit and listen to the legend, and the mages closest to him were edging away, as though Kyoutani might relieve his boredom by turning back into a wolf and eating one or more of them.

"Why would a water mage have a river spirit for a familiar? Wouldn't it have been smarter to have a familiar with different abilities?" one of the new mages questioned. Yahaba resisted the urge to let his eyebrow twitch in irritation. Had this one been listening at all, or had he gotten fixated on that at the beginning and tuned out the actual legend?

"It used to be common for mages to choose familiars similar to themselves. Summoning a familiar in a ceremony actually increases the chance of bonding with someone with a similar temperament or magical skill set to yours," Yahaba explained.

"So you didn't use a ceremony," one of the new mages guessed. Yahaba was pretty sure his name started with a 'K', but he couldn't remember what it was. The guy had hair more suitable for a spirit or demon, though, mostly blond with some black hair sticking up over his forehead.

"Why do you say that?" Yahaba questioned.

"Because your familiar is really scary, but you're not," the mage answered. Kyoutani managed to turn his laugh into a cough, but Yahaba shot him a level, warning glance anyway.

"Appearances can be decieving," Yahaba said mildly. "But you're right. I didn't get my familiar from a summoning ceremony. I just adopted a stray dog." He kept his tone light, conversational, and didn't pause even when he heard Kyoutani grumble under his breath in protest. "As for the benefits of a familiar's powers matching or complementing a mage's, there are different theories. But really, everyone is different. Iwaizumi became Oikawa's familiar in the aftermath of a battle against Moonlit Shadows years ago. Kiyoko found Yachi while she was collecting herbs in the forest. Some people find familiars because they're looking for something specific: a friend, a partner, something. Others find them when and where they least expect it." The mages nodded seriously, taking in his words. The ones from Windswept, he knew, had spent every waking minute split between training and adjusting to the fact that at Aoba Josei, familiars were members of the Guild just as much as the mages they were bonded to, unlike at Windswept, where most familiars were considered pets or servants, useful to have around but not worthy of really being considered. With this in mind, Yahaba saw an opportunity and took it. "Now, I want you all to think about and discuss two very important questions: what would have happened to Irihata and his desire to protect the village forever if Mizoguchi hadn't been there, and what kind of relationship do you think works best between mage and familiar?" The mages hesitated, and Yahaba smiled and stepped back. "I'll leave you to it, and I expect every single one of you to have an answer when you're asked tomorrow." With that, he turned, glancing at Kyoutani to make sure his familiar was following, then left the courtyard.

"You gave them homework and then ditched them," Kyoutani muttered when they were out of earshot of the new mages. Yahaba shrugged.

"Kindaichi just said to tell them the legend," he replied. Kyoutani's usually-present frown deepened.

"You're not usually so lazy about stuff like this," the guardian spirit commented. "Something bothering you?" Yahaba tilted his head.

"Worried? That's cute," he informed his familiar. Kyoutani grumbled something about irritating mages, and Yahaba relented. "I saw you were getting restless. I thought you might like to get some exercise, since I've kept you on a short leash today." Kyoutani brightened at that, although his excitement was dimmed slightly at the leash comment. "I have to check with Kindaichi, but maybe we can do a little patrolling toward the forest or something. I haven't been out of the castle in days, and you got into trouble the last time you were out by the roads."

"Hey, I survived, and I cleaned up those bandits before they caused too much trouble," Kyoutani pointed out.

"And then your instincts ran wild and you reverted to snarling at the air because Yachi got scared," Yahaba countered. "No fighting for you today. We're going to have a nice walk and stretch our legs, and then we're going to come back here and help Kindaichi with the reports, because they're supposed to come in this evening." Kyoutani didn't look happy about the reports, but he wasn't about to protest and risk Yahaba declaring they would both be spending the next week inside the fortress.

Two hours later, Yahaba paused and frowned at the trees around them, realizing they had wandered past the border of Aoba Josei's territory - they didn't claim land very far into the forest, because they didn't want to irritate the potential familiars living there - and he didn't know where they were.

"Kyoutani? Let's head back now," Yahaba decided, hoping his familiar would take the lead, and Yahaba could just follow him back to the Guild Hall. Instead, Kyoutani, who had been bounding ahead in his wolf form, returned to human form and frowned to himself, then tilted his head.

"Okay. Lead the way," the guardian spirit replied. Yahaba hesitated, and Kyoutani read the slight widening of his eyes. "No way."

"We're not lost," Yahaba said before his familiar could suggest such a thing. "Aren't you supposed to have a good sense of direction?"

"I wasn't paying attention to where we were going," Kyoutani snapped. "You've had me on house arrest, so I was enjoying seeing something besides stupid stone walls."

"So just turn back to wolf form and follow our trail back," Yahaba replied. Kyoutani opened his mouth to inform his mage that he was not a dog, and didn't appreciate being used as a compass when Yahaba was supposed to be the smart one and keep track of where they were, but the words died in his throat as, all of a sudden, it started raining.

"Even if I wanted to be your tracking hound - which I don't - I can't," Kyoutani snapped. "The rain is already washing the scents away." Yahaba grimaced and retreated under a tree with thick enough leaves to provide some cover from the rain. Kyoutani followed him.

"You smell like wet dog," Yahaba complained.

"Too bad," Kyoutani grumbled. "I'm staying right here." Yahaba sighed and gathered the earth around them, maneuvering the dirt until there was a small raised area where water wouldn't pool. He wished he could use the talent earth spirits had for finding their way to where they needed to be, but that was an ability Yahaba didn't have. He sat on the raised, dry ground and leaned back against the tree trunk. Kyoutani sat beside him, and Yahaba switched from the uncomfortable tree trunk to leaning against his familiar's side, ignoring the faint smell of wet fur. "Look on the bright side," Kyoutani said.

"What bright side?"

"Eventually, the rain will let up, and then you'll figure out a way to get us back, and we'll have a really good excuse for Kindaichi for missing out on all those reports." Yahaba laughed and shifted, settling more comfortably against Kyoutani, who was now leaning against him in return.

"You still stink like wet dog," Yahaba told him.

"It's not stopping you from using me as a pillow," Kyoutani replied. Yahaba had nothing to say to that, so he sighed and closed his eyes instead, wondering how long the rain would last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be shenanigans. So many shenanigans. I have PLANS.


	3. The Sleeping Spell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should mention that there will be some references to sexual content in this chapter. Because what else would Oikawa and Iwaizumi be doing on their vacation while shenanigans happen back home?

Yachi, as most members of Aoba Josei knew, was a gifted but extremely nervous healer who often relied on her bonded mage partner, Kiyoko, to make sure Yachi didn't overthink a healing. When Yachi got nervous during a healing, it could lead to healing someone too much and causing completely unpredictable results, like the time Yachi had accidentally put too much energy into Oikawa to heal a sprained ankle, and the leftover energy somehow managed to make the Guildmaster's toenails grow uncontrollably for a week. Alternatively, sometimes Yachi could end up getting intimidated by the extent of an injury, and without someone to calm her and help her focus, the way Shimada had done before she became a familiar and Kiyoko did now, sometimes the magic just wouldn't work, or at least wouldn't work correctly, such as just transferring an injury to another part of someone's body as opposed to actually healing it, like the time she had healed a cut on Kindaichi's forehead, only for an identical cut to open on his arm. Over the years, incidents like those had decreased in frequency, as Yachi became more confident in her abilities and less intimidated by the things her patients came to her with. Eventually, Yachi didn't need Kiyoko's direct supervision for everything anymore.

There was, however, one thing that Yachi and those who had taught her to focus her magic properly should have remembered that the familiar really shouldn't do alone: new spells.

Alas, Shimada, who had seen firsthand how capable the young crow he had once helped focus through healing people had become, may have slightly overestimated Yachi's confidence when he presented her with a description of a method for inducing sleep in a patient who refused to rest. Yachi had asked him about finding such a technique because of Oikawa's refusal to get a decent amount of sleep and Iwaizumi's resulting frustration. So, while Oikawa and Iwaizumi were away, and Kiyoko was busy with some paperwork to help out Kindaichi, and with the memory of Kyoutani's instinctive reactions to her fear fresh in her mind, Yachi decided to try out the sleeping technique. After all, if she put Kyoutani into a deep enough sleep next time he needed to be healed, he wouldn't be able to sense any fear to react to.

Thus began Yachi's attempt to use her magic to make someone sleep. She followed the instructions Shimada had left her, carefully retrieving a normal sleeping medication from Kiyoko's stores, then closing her eyes and slowly filling the medicine with her own healing energies. She could feel the power taking on the aspects of the sleeping medicine, and carefully noted the way it felt. The power had a sluggish feel to it, and Yachi was sure she could replicate it if she needed to, so she happily slipped her power out of the medication and returned it to its shelf.

"Yachi, what are you doing?" Kiyoko asked, stepping into the room with an armful of papers she had been taking to Kindaichi. The mage's tone was full of genuine interest with no trace of accusation, but Yachi jumped anyway, losing her grip on the magic. Instead of vanishing, however, the power suddenly got more energetic - probably spurred on by the surprise the familiar felt - and spread, filling the room. Yachi squeaked in dismay, and Kiyoko's eyes widened. An instant later, the magic flowed over Kiyoko, and the mage swayed, eyes sliding shut as she slumped against the wall and slid to the floor, fast asleep. Yachi shrieked.

A moment later, Kindaichi and Kunimi came dashing into the room, summoned by the noise, and barreled straight into the magic swirling in the air. Kindaichi's momentum kept him from gently sliding to the floor like Kiyoko had. Instead, the air mage fell asleep as he ran and ended up plowing face first into the floor. Yachi shrieked again and turned to Kunimi, dreading what she would find. She fell silent, stunned by what she saw. Because Kunimi hadn't fallen like Kiyoko and Kindaichi had. Instead, he was on his feet, eyes wide and curious, more awake than Yachi had ever seen him outside of a battle, and he was looking more alert by the second as the remainder of the sleeping spell swirled around him and was absorbed by him.

The two familiars stared at each other for a long moment. Then they turned to stare at Kindaichi, crumpled face down on the floor, and then at Kiyoko, slumped against the wall.

"What happened?" Kunimi asked. Yachi, shaking with something akin to terror, crouched beside Kindaichi.

"I was trying out a new sleep magic," she explained. "I'll try to wake them up." She laid a hand on Kindaichi's shoulder and reached out, putting extra energy into her magic as she did so, hoping the energy boost would pull Kindaichi back to consciousness. Instead, she just found herself feeling far more exhausted than she really should have. Her eyes fluttered closed, and she collapsed, sprawled over Kindaichi's back. Kunimi eyed the three sleeping people, then slowly backed out of the room.

"Kunimi? What's going on?" Kunimi turned and found Watari, a young but rather dependable healer who didn't have a familiar, approaching.

"Yachi tried out a new healing spell and accidentally put herself, Kiyoko, and Kindaichi to sleep," Kunimi explained. Watari stepped past Kunimi and peered into the room, taking in the three sleeping figures.

"Well, if Kiyoko and Yachi are both asleep, then it's probably not a good idea to try magically healing them," Watari murmured. "Shimada was here yesterday. Maybe he knows what to do." Watari looked up at Kunimi thoughtfully. "Someone will need to go find him. Maybe you could send Yahaba and Kyoutani?"

"Those two went out for a walk in the forest and haven't come back yet," Kunimi replied, vaguely remembering Kindaichi complaining about how long the pair had been gone while Kunimi dozed earlier.

"Well, you can't go; you're the highest ranking person in the Guild Hall," Watari sighed. Kunimi frowned.

"If it's rank we need, why don't we just ask Iwaizumi to come back for a bit? He could even leave Oikawa wherever he's carried him off to," the familiar pointed out. Watari seemed to consider this, then pulled out his pendent.

"Iwaizumi, we could use some advice. There's a situa-" Watari's words cut off, and after seeming to listen to a voice Kunimi couldn't hear, he frowned.

"What did Iwaizumi say?" Kunimi asked. Watari's frown deepened.

"He said not to bother him for a few hours, and if we can't get things figured out by then, he'll listen to what the problem is."

"That's strange. Iwaizumi is usually the responsible one," Kunimi commented.

"I know. What could he and Oikawa be doing that could possibly..." Watari trailed off, eyes widening with realization at the same time that Kunimi's did. Watari scowled at the pendent in his hand as though it had personally offended him. "Your sex life is not as important as our current crisis, mister war god," the healer informed the pendant. Kunimi shrugged.

"They're just sleeping, right? You go try to find Shimada, and I'll make sure things don't get out of hand here," Kunimi suggested. Watari hesitated.

"You won't fall asleep?" he questioned, knowing that, when left to his own devices, Kunimi would rather nap than manage the Guild Hall.

"I feel like I won't be able to sleep for days," Kunimi answered. Watari's eyes widened, and he wondered what exactly the world was coming to, when Kindaichi was sleeping on the job and Kunimi was wide awake.

As night fell, Watari wondered why he hadn't thought to bring someone good at finding people with him. He had been wandering in the forest for over an hour, and he was totally lost. He was beginning to give up hope of finding anyone to ask for directions when he noticed the flickering light of a campfire in the distance. He moved toward it as quickly as he could without tripping over roots or falling on his face, and eventually was able to make out two oddly familiar figures sitting near the fire.

"Did you come to find us, Watari?" Yahaba asked, smiling. Watari stared at them. What were they doing here? Were they planning to just camp out overnight?

"No, I came to find Shimada. A sleeping spell went haywire," Watari explained. "Kindaichi, Kiyoko, and Yachi are all asleep, and we don't know how to wake them up." Yahaba blinked.

"Did Kindaichi get through the day's reports before that happened?" Kyoutani questioned. Watari frowned, not sure why that would matter. Yahaba elbowed his familiar.

"I don't know," the healer answered. "But-"

"So it is true. There are some Guild mages in my territory." Watari tensed, but Yahaba relaxed, recognizing the voice.

"Ukai! Are we in crow territory, then?" the earth mage asked. Someone stepped into the clearing, and Watari realized he recognized the newcomer, too. It was the leader of the crow group, which meant they probably weren't about to be attacked for tresspassing.

"You're just past the border," Ukai answered. "What brings you out so late? You're with Aoba Josei, right?"

"We are. I came to look for Shimada. We need his advice," Watari said. "I don't know what those two are doing here, because they were supposed to be back at the Guild Hall ages ago." Yahaba and Kyoutani exchanged sheepish looks.

"We may have gotten lost," Yahaba admitted.

"Wait. You're a wolf, aren't you? Couldn't you just-" Kyoutani's growl interrupted Ukai's question.

"The rain," Yahaba explained. For some reason, it was Ukai's turn to look sheepish.

"Ah. Sorry about that. We had a skirmish with a couple of water spirits earlier, and when water spirits lose, they tend to make everyone around them miserable by making it rain," the crow leader said. Yahaba took this information in stride, keeping his expression neutral, but Kyoutani looked like he wanted to fight someone. "I'll send Shimada to the Guild Hall. Since he'll be flying, he'll probably beat you there, so is there someone he can get an explanation of the situation from?"

"Kunimi is in charge," Watari answered.

"Kunimi? But he's always dozing off. How is he awake if Kindaichi's asleep?" Yahaba asked. Watari shrugged.

"I don't know, but when I left, he was more awake than I've ever seen him," the healer told them.

"I'll let Shimada know. You three should follow Watari's trail back," Ukai advised. "It's getting dark." With that, he shifted to his crow form and flew away, leaving the three Aoba Josei members to stare at each other. After a moment, Yahaba used a wave of loose dirt to put out the fire.

"Okay, Kyoutani," the earth mage said. "Watari's trail should be nice and fresh, so why don't we get started?" Kyoutani glared daggers at the mage, the expression only enhanced by the lengthening shadows, but Yahaba didn't seem to notice. "Stick close, okay?" Yahaba added to Watari, who nodded. Kyoutani grumbled and shifted to wolf form, and Yahaba made shooing motions at him, urging him forward. Kyoutani snarled at him, then turned and put his nose to the ground, stalking off into the forest with Yahaba and Watari following close behind.

By the time the three of them reached the castle, Shimada and the healers who hadn't been caught in the spell had already woken the three sleepers up, and Kunimi was back to his usual half-dozing state. Kindaichi met them at the gates, arms crossed and scowl in place as he did his best imitation of Iwaizumi when he was angry.

"So you two decided to take a little vacation of your own, huh?" Kindaichi asked. Kyoutani snapped his jaws, and Kindaichi took about three steps back, out of immediate biting range, but kept his scowl in place.

"At least we were patrolling instead of taking a nap," Yahaba replied. Kindaichi's scowl wavered as something that was almost embarrassment flickered across his features. "Come on. Let's get those reports done and call it even, okay?" Kindaichi appeared somewhat mollified by this, but Kyoutani's fur bristled, and he returned to human form and tried to walk away, only to freeze in place when Yahaba called after him, threatening to not take him outside the castle walls for a week.

So, with a sulking Kyoutani in tow, Yahaba and Kindaichi went to Oikawa's office, where Kunimi was curled up in the Guildmaster's chair, fast asleep.


	4. The Mage and the Frog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, I have never written Futakuchi or Koganegawa before, and I wasn't sure what to do with them, so they might be a little weird.

Yahaba stared at the astonishingly tall mage in front of him, trying to process what he'd just been told.

"Let me see if I'm understanding this correctly," Yahaba said, glancing at Kindaichi, who looked just as lost as Yahaba felt, and Kiyoko, whose expression was calm except for a slight furrowing of her forehead. "You...convinced your familiar, who you've known for less than a month, to try a new animal shape." The mage nodded. "And then you thought it would be a good idea to try a strength charm on him, without supervision." Another nod. "And the charm messed up...and now your familiar is stuck in this new animal form." A final nod. Yahaba turned to the other mages with him. Kindaichi looked like he was mentally calculating how much paperwork handling this situation was going to cause, because if they didn't make a report and properly document everything, Oikawa would be upset when he finally got back from wherever he and Iwaizumi were. Kiyoko was focused on the box the mage was carrying, which apparently held the mage's familiar. "What's your name, again?" Yahaba asked.

"I'm Koganegawa Kanji," the mage answered. "I'm an enchanter." Yahaba sighed.

"Can I take a look?" Kiyoko asked, moving toward the young mage, who stared at her, apparently caught by surprise at how pretty the head healer was. Kiyoko ignored his gaze and peered into the box. She reached inside and pulled out a rather delicate-looking frog.

"You convinced your familiar to turn into a frog?" Kindaichi demanded. Koganegawa shrugged.

"No, I just wanted to see what he could do. He's a forest spirit, so I kind of thought he would turn into a bird. His usual animal form is a dog, but..."

"He isn't hurt," Kiyoko announced. "There's nothing my healers can do for him."

"And Oikawa isn't here to alter the magic on him," Kindaichi sighed.

"It would take days to get an enchanter or demon with suppressing abilities to undo it," Yahaba added. "The closest pair that could do it is Karasuno's Guildmaster and his demon, right?"

"Well, we have an enchanter who might be able to do it, but he's not the most cooperative person in the world," Kindaichi said.

"He can't be more uncooperative than Kyoutani, and it's worth a try," Yahaba mused. "Who is it?"

"Futakuchi. He's one of the ones who came to us from Windswept," Kindaichi said. "I heard he was good friends with some earth mage the Warden killed years ago."

"I'll get him," Yahaba volunteered, glancing around for Kyoutani, who was leaning against the wall by the door, expression caught between incredulity and mirth. Yahaba frowned at him, and Kyoutani shrugged and nodded to the frog in Kiyoko's hands. The earth mage shook his head, then walked out of the room, his familiar following him without being told.

"So you know this Futakuchi guy?" Kyoutani asked as they turned toward the wing of the castle where most of the mages who'd joined after the war lived.

"Sort of. I know who he is. I've heard him mentioned, and I've seen him spar a few times. His specialty is defense, although his offensive charms are decent, too. If I'm remembering right, he doesn't redirect like the Guildmaster does, he just blocks attacks."

"I bet I could beat him," Kyoutani decided. Yahaba shook his head.

"He doesn't have a familiar, so we can't spar with him yet."

"Hey, you two are pretty high up, right?" an unfamiliar voice demanded. Yahaba glanced around and found the mage they were looking for approaching them, which raised Yahaba's opinion of said mage slightly, since he didn't seem to be hesitant to be around Kyoutani. "Have you seen an enchanter named Koganegawa? He's supposed to be-"

"He trapped his familiar in a frog form," Yahaba interrupted flatly. "You're Futakuchi, right? We were looking for you."

"He did what?" Futakuchi stared at them for a moment, then grimaced. "Poor Sakunami. Where are they?" Yahaba exchanged a glance with Kyoutani.

"Healer's wing," Yahaba said, turning to lead the way. "You don't seem surprised."

"Koganegawa has potential as an enchanter, but he's basically a baby," Futakuchi replied as they walked.

"You know him pretty well, then?" the earth mage asked. Futakuchi shrugged.

"I was in charge of training him when we were both with Windswept. He can't even do a basic charm removal, but when he manages to work a charm correctly, it's really strong."

"I'm guessing it's just as strong if it's done incorrectly," Yahaba commented.

"I thought you were supposed to be uncooperative," Kyoutani broke in, frowning at Futakuchi.

"I found out my best friend's death years ago wasn't an accident after all, that the second in command of my old Guild was some kind of evil puppetmaster, and when I joined up here, I got in a couple fights. You'd be uncooperative, too," the enchanter replied.

"Oh, he is," Yahaba grumbled. Kyoutani muttered something under his breath. "See?" They reached the healer's wing and found that Kindaichi had given up and left, while Kiyoko looked like she wasn't sure how to handle the tall enchanter who was apparently trying to comfort the frog that Kiyoko was still holding by assuring the familiar that everything would be okay, and not worry about getting stuck, as though it wasn't Koganegawa's fault.

"Kogane!" Futakuchi snapped, walking over and plucking the frog out of Kiyoko's hands. "What have I told you about doing charms unsupervised?" Koganegawa tilted his head. "Never mind. Don't answer that."

"He reminds me of someone," Kyoutani murmured, glancing at Yahaba.

"I can't imagine who," the earth mage replied, watching as Futakuchi eyed the magic wrapped around the poor frog.

"Koganegawa, there's only one way to undo this spell," Futakuchi announced. "You have to kiss the frog." Yahaba blinked. Kyoutani gaped. Kiyoko's eyes widened. Koganegawa tilted his head in confusion. The frog tried to leap out of Futakuchi's hands, but the enchanter didn't let him escape, gripping the familiar firmly but gently, and held him up towards Koganegawa. "Go on. Kiss. The. Frog." Yahaba wasn't sure what kind of spell removal this was, but he was pretty sure it wasn't how enchanters usually worked. He caught a wicked gleam in Futakuchi's eye and wondered what that was about. Koganegawa leaned down and reluctantly kissed the top of the frog's head. After he straightened up, Futakuchi's magic swirled around the poor familiar, and the frog shifted forms, becoming a short boy who looked about Koganegawa's age. "There you go, Sakunami. Good as new," Futakuchi announced. The familiar glared back and forth between the two enchanters.

"Yahaba?" Kyoutani was frowning at the trio. "He just did that to punish him, didn't he?"

"Probably," Yahaba agreed. "Let's go fill Kindaichi in on what happened."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions for future shenanigans are being accepted. So leave me a comment if you have an idea for what else could happen! Also, has anyone noticed my theme for this fic yet?


	5. The Frozen Castle

Yahaba was finishing his report to Kindaichi when Kyoutani suddenly stiffened and turned toward the door, shifting to wolf form and nearly knocking Yahaba over with his sudden increase in bulk.

"Kyoutani! How many times have I told you not to use your wolf form indoors?" Yahaba grumbled, elbowing the wolf's side irritably. Kyoutani didn't react, just stared at the door, upper lip curling into a snarl. Yahaba frowned and glanced at Kindaichi, who looked just as mystified. Before Yahaba could ask what was going on, his gaze slid to Kunimi, who had been dozing in the corner, but was now on his feet, alert and tense.

"Kunimi?" Kindaichi frowned, but before the lake spirit could answer, Kyoutani leaped backwards, returning to human form as he put distance between himself and the door and nearly knocking Yahaba over again. Yahaba was about to snap at his familiar, but something at the door caught his attention. Kyoutani's wolf form had blocked his view of that side of the room, but now that Kyoutani was in human form again, Yahaba saw that the entire wall was covered in ice. His eyes widened, and he took a step back. The stones of the castle walls stirred, and he considered reaching for them to shift, but with as brittle the stones already coated in ice felt, he didn't want to risk it. Kindaichi's air magic had no such constraints, and he sent a stiff breeze across the room, shattering the ice. For a moment, Yahaba thought that would be the end of it, but then the ice returned and started to form along the floor, getting closer and closer.

"There's a glacier spirit nearby," Kunimi said. "We have to get out of here." Yahaba hesitated, and the ice crept closer. "If the ice touches you, you'll be frozen in place until we figure out how to thaw you," Kunimi warned, already moving to open the window. Kyoutani glared at the ice like he was considering challenging it. Then his gaze shifted to Yahaba, and Kyoutani growled, then grabbed the mage's arm and tugged him toward the window as though Yahaba hadn't been about to head that way himself. Kindaichi was the first one out, summoning a cushion of air to lower himself gently to the ground. Kunimi followed, taking on the misty, ethereal form that was the true form of most water spirits and floating down to regain his human form beside Kindaichi. Yahaba went next, calling the earth to rise up to meet him, forming a ramp to slide down, and Kyoutani followed and instant before the wall around the window froze over. When all four of them were safely on the ground outside the castle, they turned at stared up at their home. The Guild Hall was completely encased in ice.

"Hey, Kunimi, about that glacier spirit you mentioned..." Yahaba said, movement at the top of an ice-coated tower catching his eye. "Would that be it?" Kunimi's gaze followed the gesture to where a very large, very angry man was perched on top of the tower.

"Futakuchi, I know you're here, you bastard!" the person at the top of the tower shouted before Kunimi could reply.

"Futakuchi? Isn't that the enchanter who just helped out that familiar trapped in frog form?" Kindaichi asked. Yahaba nodded.

"I wonder what he did to irritate that guy," the earth mage mused.

"You can't hide forever!" the stranger bellowed.

"You probably froze him inside the castle somewhere, asshole!" Kyoutani bellowed. The stranger paused, looking around for the source of the reply, then saw the four on the ground. The ice encasing the fortress creaked, and then the stranger was gone, replaced by a storm of ice crystals that fell to the ground and then reformed into a human shape. Kyoutani growled, stepping forward.

"Kyoutani," Yahaba snapped, his tone warning his familiar not to attack yet. The guardian spirit growled again, but stopped his advance.

"I'm Kindaichi, air mage and third in command here," Kindaichi announced. "If you unfreeze the Guild Hall, we can talk about whatever is upsetting you."

"Futakuchi Kenji upsets me," the stranger growled. "I'll unfreeze your Guild Hall if you get his sorry ass out here to face me." Kindaichi was obviously displeased with the glacier spirit not cooperating, so Yahaba decided it was time to put forth an incentive for the stranger to follow the air mage's direction and defrost the castle.

"Kyoutani," Yahaba said, this time with grim encouragement instead of warning in his voice. His familiar grinned and lunged, placing himself between the stranger and the others, shifting to his huge wolf shape as he did so. The stranger's eyes widened, and he took a step back. "Our third told you to unfreeze everything so we could talk. I think you should do it," the earth mage said casually. "Otherwise, my guardian spirit here might think you're a threat." The stranger's eyes widen.

"Okay, that's a pretty good threat, but I can't actually undo it," the glacier spirit said hastily. Yahaba turned to look at Kindaichi, who had the most desperately disbelieving expression Yahaba had ever seen the air mage make.

" _Not again_ ," Kindaichi pleaded. "Not again. We _just_ got that guy out of being a frog." The stranger frowned, obviously confused, but Kindaichi didn't give him a chance to ask. "Look, we'll try to find Futakuchi, okay? Just...don't freeze anything else."

"Kyoutani and I will keep an eye on him," Yahaba volunteered. "And if he tries anything, I'll let Kyoutani bite him." The wolf that was Kyoutani bared his fangs eagerly, and the stranger held up his hands in surrender.

"So who do I tell Futakuchi is responsible for all of this?" Kindaichi asked.

"Kamasaki," the glacier spirit answered. "He'll know who I am."

"Then why didn't you just knock on the front door like a normal person?" Kindaichi demanded, throwing his hands in the air in frustration. Kamasaki shrugged.

"I tried that at his last hideout. He escaped out the back," he answered. Kindaichi glared at the glacier spirit, his expression twisting into a scowl worthy of the Guild's favorite war god. 

"If he's frozen solid, I'm having Yahaba sic Kyoutani on you!" Kindaichi snapped. "Come on, Kunimi. Let's find the enchanter." The pair left, circling around the castle, looking for any other Guild members who had made it out before the ice encased the whole building.

"So what do you want with Futakuchi anyway?" Yahaba asks. Kyoutani, deciding that he probably won't be called upon to sink his fangs into anyone in the immediate future, flopped to the ground, still in wolf form. Yahaba sat and leaned his back against the thick golden fur and looked up at the glacier spirit questioningly.

"Weren't you just threatening me a second ago?" Kamasaki protested. "Now you're, what? Doing to sit down and have a nice chat while we wait for the guy with the pointy hair to bring Futakuchi?"

"Oh, I'm still threatening you," Yahaba replied calmly. "But I'd rather be comfortable while I threaten people, and talking is better than just glaring at each other, right?" Kamasaki's expression wavered between incredulity and something that might have been fear as he sat facing Yahaba. "Much better. Now, about Futakuchi."

"He's supposed to come unfreeze things for me every year. It's a deal we have. But the last two years, he hasn't shown up. Last year, I tracked him to some hideout - I think he was on a mission at the time - and he said things were too dangerous at his guild for him to come and defrost things, and promised to come this year. He never showed up."

"Well, there was a war between several Guilds going on," Yahaba pointed out. "And he's been trying to keep this new enchanter in line. That guy trapped his own familiar as a frog earlier today." Kamasaki's eyes widened.

"A war?" Yahaba shifted his weight, wiggling a bit to settle more comfortably against Kyoutani's side.

"Yeah. Futakuchi and some others joined us after it ended," the earth mage explained before changing the subject. "Wouldn't it be easier to get a mage or spirit that deals with heat to melt things for you?"

"One of the things I keep accidentally freezing is too delicate," Kamasaki explained. "And the more frustrated I get, the harder it is to defrost things myself, so when I freeze something I don't mean to..."

"You must be pretty young, then," Yahaba mused. The glacier spirit grimaced.

"I only woke up a year before Futakuchi was born. So I'm less than three decades old, and honestly, I've been told I'm kind of a dud," he admitted. "Because of the whole issue of me not being able to defrost things."

"I can't use the earth to sense my location or where I'm supposed to go," Yahaba volunteered. "I might be the only earth mage who can get lost." Kyoutani lifted his head and glanced at Yahaba, eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to be sympathetic, not self-deprecating, you giant furball," he grumbled. Apparently satisfied, Kyoutani lowered his head, resting his chin on his paws. "Why Futakuchi, though? There are more skilled enchanters out there."

"Futakuchi doesn't try to blackmail me into being his familiar as payment," Kamasaki replied. "Maybe it's because he and I don't really get along, but somehow it worked up until two years ago."

"It still works, idiot," Futakuchi snapped, walking up with Kindaichi and Kunimi. "I told you I'd be there this year, and I was planning on getting permission a few days ago, but the Guildmaster got himself kidnapped by his own familiar, so I haven't been able to. Defrosting things for you might be a pain, but I'm not ditching you on purpose." Kamasaki blinked.

"What? Kidnapped?" he repeated.

"The point is, once he's back, I'll head up to your glacier and unfreeze all your shit. You didn't freeze Moniwa again, did you?" Futakuchi added. There was a moment of silence. Kamasaki avoided Futakuchi's gaze. "You froze Moniwa again?!"

"I had a bad day," Kamasaki grumbled. Futakuchi sighed.

"You know, Oikawa isn't the only one who can give you permission to go on a trip, especially if you have a good reason," Kindaichi said. Futakuchi blinked. "Usually, we don't let anyone leave the village area alone, but if you've got this glacier spirit with you and you can keep yourself from getting iced by him, and he agrees to escort you back here, I don't see a problem with you going."

"I see a problem with it," Yahaba objected. "What if Koganegawa gets his familiar stuck or something again?"

"We should have some magic restraint charms in the lower levels somewhere," Kindaichi replied. "We can just keep Koganegawa from using any charms until Futakuchi or Oikawa gets back. But first...the castle?" he prompted, glancing at Futakuchi. The enchanter nodded, then turned toward the blue-gray stone wall towering over them and pressed his hands to the ice coating it. Slowly, the ice began to recede. Yahaba stood, and Kyoutani returned to human form. By the time the castle was back to its normal, non-ice-coated state, Futakuchi was yawning. "You should wait until tomorrow to head out," Kindaichi advised. "The glacier spirit can stay, too, as long as he doesn't freeze everything again overnight."

"Sounds good," Futakuchi agreed, fighting back another yawn. Kamasaki frowned, but didn't protest. Kindaichi and Kunimi started toward the gates with Futakuchi and Kamasaki in tow, but Yahaba and Kyoutani lingered outside for a while longer.

"I hope Oikawa gets back soon," Yahaba mused. "I don't know how much more of these weird crises I can take." Kyoutani shrugged.

"Let's go to the village market or something," Kyoutani suggested. "That way you won't get lost, and if another weird crisis happens, hopefully it'll be done before we get back." Yahaba agreed.

"Kindaichi! We're going to the market for a bit!" the earth mage called. Kindaichi paused and glanced over his shoulder at the pair.

"Don't get lost again," the air mage called back. Yahaba grumbled indignantly and turned toward the village. Just because he'd gotten lost once since the Guildmaster left, didn't mean he was going to get lot in the village, which he knew his way around. Last time had been the forest. This was completely different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter wasn't as lighthearted? But I kind of like how it turned out anyway, so I'm keeping it.  
> Comments are welcome!


	6. The Multitude of Dogs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am saddened. None of you have commented on the fact that with the sleeping spell, Iwaizumi didn't even let Watari explain what the problem was because he was too "occupied" with Oikawa. Or the fact that Kamasaki froze Moniwa. I am saddened. Terribly saddened.

Yahaba woke to a strange, high pitched whine and frowned without opening his eyes. Kyoutani would never make a sound like that, and none of the familiar's in the Guild would dare make so much noise in or near a room where Kyoutani might be trying to sleep. Yahaba sighed and rolled onto his side. A moment later, he received a rough lick over his cheek, and he bolted upright, glaring, ready to yell at his familiar for _licking his face with dog breath_ and then just...froze.

There was a puppy on his bed, staring up at him with its tiny tongue lolling out of its mouth. There was a puppy chewing on the leg of his desk chair, and a puppy on top of his desk. There was a puppy whining and pawing at Yahaba's feet. There were several puppies in a fluffy heap in the middle of the floor.

And Kyoutani was in the doorway, expression sheepish, with _another puppy_ in his arms. Yahaba stared at his familiar for a moment.

"No." That was all Yahaba said, and then he laid back down and pulled the blankets over his head. Not today, not after the fiascoes with the frog and the ice from yesterday. If he ignored the puppies, maybe they would go away.

The one that had previously licked his face pounced on his head, and the one by his feet tried to chew on his toes. Yahaba threw the blanket off, used it to bundle the two puppies up, and deposited them on the floor. Then he turned and glared at Kyoutani.

"Where did you even get this many puppies?" Yahaba demanded. Kyoutani shrugged.

"Remember the person who was advertising puppy fur coats at the market yesterday?" the guardian spirit asked. Yahaba's eyes widened, and he stared at the multitude of puppies around the room.

"No."

"I didn't steal them," Kyoutani assured him. "The person just gave them to me when I asked if they were actually going to use the puppies for fur coats." Yahaba was pretty sure 'asking' wasn't the word for whatever Kyoutani had said, but he let that slide. "So I brought them here."

"We can't take care of this many dogs," Yahaba protested. "We can't. There's no way." One of the puppies had managed to get back onto the bed somehow, and it stared up at Yahaba with wide, trusting eyes. One of its ears was black, the other white, and it had a black spot over one eye. "No. We'll make sure they find homes or something, but we're not keeping them."

"But I already named them," Kyoutani replied. He pointed to the puppy on the bed, then to the others in turn, saying, "That one's Patch, that one's Lucky, and there's Penny, Pepper..."

"Kyoutani, no," Yahaba objected weakly. "They don't all fit in here once they start growing, and we don't have anything to feed them, and if one of them makes a mess in here, it'll be a pain to clean up." Kyoutani gave Yahaba a look of pure betrayal. "Don't give me that look!" The puppy on the bed wriggled forward and nudged at Yahaba's hand with its snout. When the earth mage refused to react, the little dog started chewing on his fingers. Yahaba yelped and jerked his hand away. "Kyoutani, we are _not_ keeping these puppies!" He got out of bed and stomped to the closet. When he opened the door, he found that, somehow, all of his clothes were on the floor, and several of the little furballs had made a nice little nest out of the fabric. Yahaba shooed the canines off of his clothes and dressed, trying to ignore the fact that everything he was putting on smelled like dogs and was covered in fur.

"Where are you going?" Kyoutani asked.

"To talk to Kindaichi about where we can take the puppies," Yahaba replied, picking his way across the room, trying not to step on or trip over any of the - admittedly adorable - bundles of fur. When Yahaba reached the door, he noticed a strange weight on one of his legs and looked down. The puppy that had tried to use his hand as a chew toy now had its teeth firmly embedded in Yahaba's pant leg, and was apparently thoroughly enjoying letting itself be dragged across the room as it hung on.

"Patch likes you," Kyoutani observed. Yahaba shot his familiar a withering look, then bent down and carefully pried the little dog's jaws off of his clothes.

"Patch is going to like having a nice home where people will have space for him more," Yahaba replied, finally managing to remove the puppy's teeth from his pant leg. Before the little animal could reattach itself, Yahaba made his escaped, closing the door behind him and leaving Kyoutani with a room full of puppies. The earth mage made his way to OIkawa's office, where he knew Kindaichi would already be working.

"Hey, Yahaba, I didn't expect you this early," Kindaichi said without looking up from the report in his hand.

"If you keep working at unholy hours like this, Kunimi is going to take a page out of Iwaizumi's book and kidnap you," Yahaba informed him. "I'm only awake because my room is filled with dogs right now." Kindaichi frowned, still not looking up from the report.

"Kunimi wouldn't stay awake long enough to kidnap me, and your room is filled with dog every time Kyoutani breaks your 'no wolf form indoors' rule," Kindaichi countered.

"I think you underestimate Kunimi's energy levels, especially if Yachi tries a sleeping spell near him again," Yahaba grumbled. "And if it was just Kyoutani, it would be fine. But he apparently liberated a terrifying number of puppies from a coat maker overnight, and they're all in my room. It's horrible." Kindaichi's gaze slowly lifted from his report, taking in Yahaba's fur-covered appearance.

"No. Not after yesterday," Kindaichi whispered, horror filling his expression. Yahaba grimaced.

"That's what I said. I need you to help me figure out what to do with all the puppies. Kyoutani's naming them all, and I'm afraid if I wait too long, I won't be able to make him get rid of them."

"There's a retired mage who raises dogs outside the village. I bet he'd be willing to take them," Kindaichi suggested. "I'll send someone to ask him." Yahaba sighed in relief.

"Thanks. I'll tell Kyoutani," he said.

"In return, you owe me a full day of helping with paperwork," Kindaichi replied, a nearly triumphant expression on his face. Yahaba rolled his eyes and agreed, then went back to his room. When he opened the door, keeping a careful eye out for any puppies that might try to escape and wreak havoc, he found an unexpected sight before him. Kyoutani was sprawled in the middle of the floor, seemingly fast asleep, and almost completely covered in dozing puppies. Yahaba gaped at how utterly and strangely adorable the whole thing was, then shook himself and closed the door quietly behind him before making his way to the desk and sitting down.

"So what did you and Kindaichi decide?" Kyoutani asked, his voice low and soft so as not to wake the puppies sleeping on and around him. Yahaba leaned down to pat his familiar's head reassuringly.

"Kindaichi knows someone who raises dogs who'll hopefully take them. They live nearby, so you can always visit, if that helps you feel better." Kyoutani gave him a sour look. "We _can't_ keep them all. I'm not saying that to be mean. It's just the truth, Kentarou," Yahaba added, hoping that using his familiar's bond name would make him just a little less stubborn about the whole thing. Kyoutani huffed and looked away, so maybe it worked. Yahaba noticed that the puppy that had been focused on chewing on him earlier was curled up on Kyoutani's chest, its floppy ears twitching slightly. "They are cute," the earth mage admitted.

"Can we keep one? Just one," Kyoutani asked. Yahaba opened his mouth to say no, then sighed.

"If I say yes, will you promise not to sulk about giving away the others?" the earth mage questioned. Kyoutani grinned and nodded. "All right. We can keep one."

About an hour later, Kindaichi showed up with several people who bundled the puppies into carriers and promised to take them to the man who would be raising them. When Kyoutani refused to let go of one of the puppies - it was the one that like chewing on Yahaba, because _of course_ that would be the one Kyoutani wanted to keep - Kindaichi turned to Yahaba rather than argue with the guardian spirit. Yahaba just shrugged, and the puppy Kyoutani called Patch was left in peace. Kindaichi lingered after the puppies were gone, glancing from Yahaba to Patch and back again.

"Whatever you want to ask, just ask already," Yahaba sighed. Kindaichi grinned.

"Two things. One, you owe me paperwork. Two, which set of puppy eyes convinced you to keep one?" Kindaichi left quickly after that, chuckling to himself when he heard Kyoutani's indignant protest that he did _not_ make 'puppy eyes'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone notice my Disney reference?  
> Also, I am currently brainstorming pranks that an air mage, and earth mage, a lake spirit, a guardian spirit, and a couple of healers might set up. Suggestions are welcome!


	7. The Earth Mage and the Seven Blue Idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A_Sirens_Lullaby drew an awesome thing based on this series! You can see it at: http://a-sirens-lullaby.tumblr.com/post/140068564635/mageyahaba-and-familiarkyoutani-from  
> You should all go praise this wonderful art!  
> There's less humor this chapter, because Snowwoman made a request to see what Kyoutani would do if Yahaba got hurt, and I couldn't resist. However, I promise that no characters were harmed in the making of this chapter.

Kindaichi started coughing and sneezing around lunch time, shortly after the last of the puppies was bundled off to their new home. Yahaba wasn't sure if the air mage was allergic to dogs, or if he'd caught a cold suddenly, but he decided to take Kyoutani out on a patrol after lunch just to be safe. Their newly adopted puppy, Patch, was left in the care of one of the junior mages - who looked utterly terrified at the idea of taking care of Yahaba and Kyoutani's pet, since who knew what Kyoutani would do if he came back and the puppy was unhappy - for the duration of the patrol. The pair walked along the edge of the forest, avoiding going too far into the trees, not wanting to get lost again. Kyoutani stayed in human form, and Yahaba wondered if it was to avoid being asked to track their way home again. The thought made him grin, and he considered asking to confirm his suspicions, but Kyoutani suddenly stiffened and stared into the trees.

"What is it?" Yahaba asked, frowning. Before Kyoutani could answer, one of Ukai's crows stepped out of the forest. Yahaba smiled, recognizing Shimada. "Back again?"

"Nah, someone just asked me to deliver this to Aoba Josei," Shimada replied, lifting a basket of apples and handing it to Yahaba. "They said it was a peace offering? I don't know, it was someone I hadn't seen before. They were in the woods closer to the village, said they were looking for a messenger because they were too shy to deliver it themselves." Yahaba exchanged wary glances with Kyoutani, then looked down at the apples appraisingly. The earth mage picked one up and eyed it, then shrugged and bit into it, holding the basket out to Kyoutani, offering him some of the fruit. Kyoutani frowned.

"Come on, they're actually really good. I know you're not a fan of fruit since you're a wolf and all...but..." Yahaba trailed off, frowning to himself. Shimada tilted his head, and Kyoutani tensed. Yahaba staggered, then fell, the basket of apples tumbling to the ground. Kyoutani lunged forward, catching Yahaba as he collapsed and gently lowering them both to the ground, cradling Yahaba against his chest.

"Yahaba? Yahaba!" Kyoutani growled, staring down at the mage. Yahaba's eyes were closed, and his breath was coming in short, sharp gasps. Kyoutani's head came up and he glared at Shimada, a snarl twisting his features even in human form. "What did you do to him?" Shimada stared at them, then moved forward, ignoring the warning rumble Kyoutani made, and knelt beside them.

"He's not allergic to apples or something, is he?" Shimada asked, lifting a hand to the earth mage's forehead. He never made contact, though, because Kyoutani snatched his wrist, gripping tight enough to make the potential familiar flinch and hiss in discomfort.

"Don't touch him," Kyoutani snarled, practically vibrating with rage. "Don't you dare lay a finger on him."

"I didn't do anything. There must have been something in the apple," Shimada reasoned, trying to pull his wrist out of Kyoutani's grip and only succeeding in making him tighten his hold farther. "We should get him to the castle. Kiyoko and Yachi will be able to help him." Kyoutani let go of Shimada's wrist and stood, lifting his mage into his arms. "If you shift to wolf form, I can lift him onto your back, and we can travel faster," Shimada suggested. Kyoutani's jaw clenched, and he hesitated, caught between not wanting to let Yahaba out of his hold and wanting to get to the castle as fast as possible. "Or I can fly ahead and have Yachi and Kiyoko waiting when you get there."

"Fly, crow," Kyoutani growled, settling Yahaba more securely in his arms and then starting toward the Guild Hall as quickly as he could while carrying the mage. Shimada snatched up the basket of apples, shifted to crow form, and flew toward the castle. When Kyoutani arrived, Watari was waiting, along with Kindaichi - who sneezed three times before Watari even had a chance to look at Yahaba - Kunimi, who kept yawning, Koganegawa, who looked really excited for some reason, and Sakunami, who looked worn out and was staring into space. Shimada was there, too, looking distinctly shamefaced at having been the one to hand Yahaba the apples.

"Yachi and Kiyoko are in the woods gathering herbs," Watari explained, stepping forward and pressing two fingers to Yahaba's neck, feeling for a pulse. Kyoutani bristled and might have swatted the healer's hand away, except that his hands were occupied with holding Yahaba. "I already looked at the apples Shimada brought me. They were poisoned. I could try healing him, but it would be faster and probably safer to get the antidote. Healing poisoning is tricky," Watari said. "Shimada is going to lead us to the person who gave him the apples. You can come with us or stay with Yahaba here." Kyoutani scowled, glaring at the group. Kindaichi sneezed again.

"I'll come with. I want to rip this guy to pieces," Kyoutani snapped. "But first I have to make sure Yahaba will be okay. Wait for me." It wasn't a question, but Kindaichi, as the ranking mage, nodded anyway. Kyoutani carried Yahaba to the healer's wing and carefully laid him on one of the beds in the infirmary. Before he left, Kyoutani glanced around to make sure no one was there to see what he did, then leaned down and kissed Yahaba's forehead, channeling a surge of his protective magic through the gesture. When Kyoutani left the room, the air around Yahaba shimmered, as though he was encased in glass. Kyoutani returned to the front gates, and found the others waiting for him. Together, the seven of them set off to find the mystery person who had given Shimada the apples to deliver to Aoba Josei. The crow took to the air, but the others were stuck on the ground, following the bird on foot.

It didn't take long before the crow dove, returning to human form and pointing to a figure walking towards them along the road between the castle and the village.

"That's the person who gave me the apples," Shimada announced. As soon as the words left his mouth, Shimada regretted identifying the person so soon, because Kyoutani bolted down the road, shifting to wolf form between one step and the next. He slammed into the stranger, sending them flying, and pursued the tumbling form, pinning them to the ground and _roaring_ in their face. Kindaichi was pretty sure that if it weren't for the fact that this person probably had the antidote Yahaba needed, they might not have had a face left at that point. Watari jogged down the road toward where Kyoutani had the person pinned.

"I will never, ever so much as bump into Yahaba in the hallway," Koganegawa whispered, wide-eyed. Beside him, Sakunami nodded quickly in agreement.

"And just think," Kindaichi said, pausing to sneeze several times before he continued, "That's what happens when he's holding back." The younger pair shuddered, and even Shimada winced, rubbing his wrist a little where Kyoutani had grabbed it earlier. Watari reached Kyoutani and crouched beside the person pinned beneath the wolf's massive paws.

"Hey, did you send some poisoned apples to Aoba Josei today?" the healer asked. The person, pale with terror as Kyoutani's fangs hovered just inched from their head, shuddered.

"If I say yes and give you the antidote, will you call this monster off?" they asked. Watari smiled.

"Of course. You'll have to explain why you did it, though," he added. "Otherwise, this 'monster' might decide to keep you from trying something like this again." The person whimpered as Kyoutani opened his mouth a little more, fangs gleaming menacingly to emphasize the point.

"Some familiar from there took all my merchandise before dawn this morning. I wanted to get back at him. The antidote is in my bag, please don't kill me," the person wailed. Watari picked up the bag, which had been dropped when Kyoutani tackled the poisoner. Watari rummaged through it, and found a vial inside. He held it close to the mage's face. "That's it, I swear. That's the antidote," the person insisted. Watari eyed them for a moment, then stood as Kindaichi and the others approached.

"Let's take this back," Watari said. The group nodded and turned to go.

"Wait! You promised you'd call the monster off!" Watari paused and glanced over his shoulder.

"Hey, Kyoutani. Leave them alone," Watari called.

"Down, boy," Kindaichi muttered under his breath, his words punctuated by more sneezes. Kyoutani snarled at them both and didn't leave the person alone. Kindaichi shook his head, then poked Kunimi, who had been practically falling asleep on his feet, and headed back toward the castle, Koganegawa and Sakunami in tow.

"You promised!" the person cried.

"Yeah, but I never said he'd listen when I called him off," Watari replied. "Kyoutani, don't be late getting back, okay?" The wolf growled, and the healer shrugged, then followed his fellow Guild members toward their Guild Hall.

Watari frowned as he stood over Yahaba's unmoving form, antidote in hand. He had intended to give the earth mage the medicine immediately, but for some reason he couldn't touch him. The shining air around Yahaba had to be some kind of protection spell, but it didn't feel like an enchantment a mage would cast. The healer was considering trying to just smash the protection when Kyoutani walked in.

"You didn't give it to him yet?" the guardian spirit snarled, spotting the full vial in Watari's hand.

"I can't get near him," Watari replied, frustration clear in his voice. To his surprise, instead of glaring at him, Kyoutani blinked, then hurried forward, his expression almost...sheepish? Watari was mystified, until Kyoutani laid a hand on the shining air, and the magic vanished. Watari's confusion melted away into amused comprehension, and he administered the antidote with a knowing smile on his face. Before Kyoutani could ask what he was grinning about, Watari left the infirmary, taking the antidote to Kiyoko's office so she could take a look at it when she returned from the forest with Yachi.

Kyoutani watched Yahaba intently, waiting for the mage to stir. After a few minutes of Yahaba not waking up, Kyoutani leaned over him, lowering his head worriedly. He hesitated, his face a breath away from Yahaba's, then closed the distance and pressed his lips to his mage's. For a single heartbeat, Yahaba's mouth was still against Kyoutani's. Then his lips shifted, and Yahaba was kissing him, smiling as he did so. Kyoutani relaxed, every muscle in his body releasing the tension he'd built up since Yahaba bit the stupid apple. The familiar pulled back eventually, and Yahaba grinned up at him sleepily.

"Hey. What happened?" the earth mage asked. "I don't usually wake up to kisses like that." Kyoutani grumbled and turned his head away, making Yahaba laugh softly.

"That guy I took the puppies from poisoned the apples," Kyoutani growled. "I recognized him after Shimada pointed him out. Watari got the antidote from him. Then I took care of him." Yahaba's eyes widened, and he sat up.

"Kentarou," he murmured. Kyoutani glanced up at the sound of his bond name, then lowered his head to rest on his mage's shoulder, his arms sliding around Yahaba's waist. Yahaba sighed and brought his arms up to wrap around his familiar's shoudlers. "You know this means you'll be the one who has to fill out part of the report on the incident, right?"

"Worth it," Kyoutani growled, nuzzling into the crook of Yahaba's neck. The earth mage sighed again and ran his fingers through his familiar's short hair.

"You hate paperwork," Yahaba reminded him.

"Not as much as I hate people trying to hurt you," Kyoutani replied, his words muffled against his mage's skin. Yahaba smiled and rested his chin against the top of the guardian spirit's head.

"I'll help you write the report if you tell me everything," Yahaba offered.

"If you want," Kyoutani agreed. Footsteps sounded in the hallway, approaching the infirmary, and Kyoutani straightened, pulling away from Yahaba's hold. Shimada entered the room a moment later.

"Sorry about the whole delivering poisoned apples to you thing," Shimada said, watching the pair hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it," Yahaba replied. "It pretty much goes along with the week we've been having."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of Day Four of Oikawa being "kidnapped" by Iwaizumi. There are three days left. I have plans for the final day, but there are two days that are kind of up in the air right now. So if anyone wants to recommend shenanigans for Days Five and Six, feel free!   
> (Also, if anyone was wondering, the Seven Blue Idiots is a reference to the Seven Dwarfs. Kunimi is Sleepy, Kindaichi is Sneezy, Kyoutani is Grumpy, Watari is Doc, and Koganegawa, Sakunami, and Shimada are Happy, Dopey, and Bashful. Which absolutely makes Yahaba Snow White.)


	8. The Healer in the Tower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still looking for prank ideas, so if anyone has suggestions, please let me know!

"Hey, Kindaichi?" Yahaba began as he put down his official report on yesterday's events.

"Yeah?" The air mage didn't look up from the paper in his hand.

"Are things always this crazy and I just didn't realize it, or do ridiculous things happen just because Oikawa is gone?"

"We've never had this many things happen in less than a week, but spells going wrong isn't uncommon. Food poisoning is less common, and angry spirits freezing things doesn't usually happen to us," Kindaichi replied.

"Food poisoning? Is that what we're going with now?" Yahaba muttered. "Oh, well. It's almost lunch time, and nothing too horrible has happened today, so maybe the weirdness is over." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted saying them. There was a loud rumbling sound, and Yahaba and Kindaichi froze, staring at each other in horror for several long minutes. The dread-filled silence was broken when someone slammed the door open.

"Kiyoko's trapped in one of the towers!" screeched Yachi as she tumbled into the room.

"You just had to say it, didn't you," Kindaichi grumbled. Yahaba sighed. "What happened, Yachi?"

"We were just up in one of the towers, and then the whole thing started shaking and I flew out the window to see what was happening and then stones started falling, and now Kiyoko's trapped in the top room!" the healer wailed. Kindaichi groaned and set down his paper.

"Let's go see what we can do," he said, looking around for his familiar. Kunimi was curled up in the corner, snoring away, pleasantly oblivious to the new crisis that had found them. Kindaichi went over and crouched beside the lake spirit, gently shaking his shoulder to wake him up. Yahaba considered finding Kyoutani, but he knew his familiar was supposed to be trying to train Patch that morning, so he decided this was probably a crisis he, Kindaichi, and Kunimi could handle. Kindaichi, unable to wake Kunimi, sighed and just picked his familiar up, resigned to carrying the sleepy lake spirit. Yachi led them toward the stone spiral staircase that led up the tower.

"You said she was trapped in the top room? How so?" Yahaba asked.

"The wall fell!" Yachi replied, biting her lip. Yahaba shrugged.

"That shouldn't be too hard to fix, then," the earth mage said. "I'll just..." They reached the spiral staircase, and Yahaba paled. A lot more than the one wall he'd been picturing had collapsed. The stairs were littered with rubble, and looked incredibly unstable.

"I'll go out onto the wall and see if I can do anything from there," Kindaichi said.

"You might want to evacuate this area of the castle first," Yahaba replied. "It looks really unstable." Kindaichi eyed the stone stairs warily, then nodded in agreement. There was a low rumble, and suddenly Kunimi was awake, and there was thick mist wrapping around Kindaichi, pulling the air mage away from the rubble that came tumbling down the stairs. Yachi shrieked. Yahaba reached out with his magic, halting the stones and settling them carefully to the side. "So, about that evacuation..."

"Yeah. Good plan," Kindaichi replied. He and Kunimi went back the way they'd come, intent on finding all of the Guild members nearby and sending them to the far end of the castle. Yachi glanced after them, then turned her wide, fearful gaze to Yahaba.

"You're a crow, right?" Yahaba said, eyeing the unstable-looking staircase. Yachi squeaked and nodded. "Good. Can you switch to crow form and fly up the stairs? I need to know if there are any places before the top room where the path is completely destroyed." Yachi trembled, eyeing the staircase. "I'll be right behind you, I promise. Just fly ahead a little, and if the path is blocked, come back. Otherwise, just find a safe perch and wait for me to catch up, okay?" Yachi glanced nervously from Yahaba to the crumbling stones littering the stairs. "Kiyoko's up there, right? Let's go get her," Yahaba urged. That seemed to make up Yachi's mind, and the familiar shifted to her crow form and flew up the spiraling path. Yahaba followed slowly, picking his way between pieces of rubble, his magic ready as he carefully ascended the rubble-strewn stairs. About halfway up, Yachi comes fluttering back to him, letting out distressed caws that sound oddly similar to the squeaks she makes when she's upset in human form. Yahaba waits for her to calm down, and eventually she does, returning to human form and shifting anxiously.

"The wall fell in," she explained. Yahaba frowned and moved past her, rounding the next bend in the stairs and finding that, yes, the outer wall had fallen in for some reason, and it was completely blocking the way. Yachi hovered behind him, fidgeting. Yahaba frowned at the stones, then moved forward and rested his hands on the nearest section of rubble, spreading his magic through the heap of stones.

"Check the area beneath the tower," Yahaba said, keeping his tone steady. "I'll push all of the rocks out there if it's clear." Yachi nodded and shifted to crow form, then flew out the gap in the wall. A moment later, she returned.

"No one's there," she assured him. Yahaba took a deep breath, then sent a surge of his magic through the rubble, guiding the stones to tumble out the gap, so they fell to the ground at the base of the tower. Once the path was cleared, Yahaba continued up the stairs. He had to stop a few more times to clear stones blocking the path, but eventually he reached the top room. The door was blocked by a slab of blue-gray rock that had previously been part of the ceiling, and Yahaba scowled at it, his previous calm approach fading as he _glared_ at the rock, his expression eerily similar to the look he used on Kyoutani when the familiar was being uncooperative. And just like Kyoutani, the slab of rock gave way, allowing Yahaba's magic to bend it until the earth mage could open the door the rock had previously been pinning shut. Yahaba nodded sharply, apparently satisfied by the stone's cooperation, then opened the door. Kiyoko was waiting calmly inside the room. Yachi bolted inside and threw herself at Kiyoko, babbling about falling rocks and how scared she'd been. Kiyoko stroked the familiar's hair soothingly, then glanced at Yahaba and smiled. The earth mage smiled back, then beckoned for the two healers to follow him back down the tower stairs. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Yahaba lets his magic drain away from his awareness, having kept tabs on the stability of the stones around them the whole time he was in the tower. He yawns, because moving so many stones with his power exhausts him much more than manipulating dirt or sand would have.

"You should go to your room and rest," Kiyoko advised. Yahaba frowned and shook his head.

"I'm fine. And I still have stuff to do," he replied. "I need to round up the other earth mages and see what we can do about that tower before it decides to come crashing all the way down."

"Yachi, go fetch Kyoutani," Kiyoko ordered. Yachi squeaked, but obeyed, shifting to crow form and flying away.

"He's supposed to be training Patch," Yahaba murmured. Kiyoko didn't answer, just pinned him in place with a level gaze.

"Yahaba! You got her down, good!" Kindaichi approached, a yawning Kunimi in tow. Yahaba smiled and nodded.

"I'm going to get a team of mages and familiars with earth powers together to fix the tower," he said. "I'll help you with the paperwork once everything is stabilized, okay?"

"We can handle all of that," Kindaichi told him. "You look exhausted." Yahaba's smile slipped away.

"I'm fine. And before you say it, Kiyoko, I don't need to rest," Yahaba added.

"You should be careful about overworking yourself, especially with your magic," Kunimi murmured. Yahaba blinked; he hadn't thought the lake spirit was awake enough to really be paying attention to the conversation. "Your familiar looks up to Iwaizumi, and look what he did when Oikawa wouldn't rest." Yahaba shook his head, but the sound of footsteps approaching made him glance past Kindaichi and the others instead of responding. Yachi was returning, and Kyoutani was with her, Patch bouncing along around their feet. Yahaba's smile returned. "Kyoutani, Yahaba wants to organize the repair work on the tower," Kunimi announced. Kyoutani's eyes narrowed as his gaze swept over Yahaba. The earth mage wasn't sure what the others were expecting, especially Kunimi, who rarely spoke as much as he had in the last few minutes, but Yahaba was willing to bet that none of them were expecting Kyoutani's reaction. The guardian spirit crouched, scooped Patch up in his arms, then stood and walked over to Yahaba, depositing the wiggling puppy in the mage's arms. Then he leaned forward, tilting his head upward slightly so he could murmur into Yahaba's ear.

"I saw those stones falling, and I know how much making existing rocks move tires you out. Organize all you want. But no more magic, and after lunch, you're going to rest," Kyoutani growled, low enough that the others wouldn't hear.

"All right," Yahaba agreed, his own words soft enough that no one would overhear. Then he turned to Kindaichi. "I'm going to get things organized before lunch," he said calmly. "Then if everyone still insists I look tired, I'll take a break, okay?" Kiyoko looked satisfied, and Kunimi gave Kyoutani a look that might have been approving if it wasn't broken off as the lake spirit yawned. Kindaichi glanced between Yahaba and Kyoutani with something that might have been concern, or maybe he was just surprised? Patch started yipping in Yahaba's arms, and the earth mage turned his attention to the puppy, putting thoughts of what the others thought of his sudden change of heart out of his mind.


	9. The Accidental Mermaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone request The Little Mermaid? Yes they did. So here it is, with a nice side of KyoHaba shenanigans.  
> Also! A_Sirens_Lullaby did Bokuto and Akaashi designs for this AU! Check them out! http://a-sirens-lullaby.tumblr.com/post/140188692395/my-finished-designs-for-akaashi-and-bokuto-for

"I swear, if Koganegawa has trapped his familiar in another animal form, I'm going to let you bite him," Yahaba grumbled to Kyoutani as they made their way toward the healers' wing, having been informed by a slightly unnerved messenger that they, along with Kindaichi and Kunimi, were needed in Kiyoko's office. Kyoutani shook his head and glanced down at Patch, who was happily bouncing alongside them.

"That would set a bad example for Patch," Kyoutani pointed out.

"I'll cover his eyes or something," Yahaba replied, flapping a hand dismissively. Patch let out a high pitched yip, and the pair smiled.

"There you are!" Kindaichi was waiting for them in the main hallway of the healers' wing, looking nearly as unnerved as the messenger had.

"Oh, no. What happened this time?" Yahaba sighed.

"I don't know, but the result is terrifying," Kindaichi replied, leading them to one of the private healing rooms. Yahaba stepped inside and stopped his his tracks so fast Kyoutani almost ran into him. In the middle of the room was a small cloud that was raining on the floor, the water pooling and then lifting to rejoin the cloud before falling again, but that wasn't the weirdest thing in there. The weirdest thing was Yachi, who was - for no reason Yahaba could even begin to guess - laying in the puddle beneath the raincloud, and she seemed to had a fish tail instead of legs. Kunimi was standing off to the side, sleepy gaze fixed on the cloud, presumably controlling the rain. Kiyoko was standing beside the lake spirit, staring at Yachi.

"If this is in any way Koganegawa's fault, I'm going to sic Kyoutani on him," Yahaba informed everyone.

"I'm not some kind of attack dog," Kyoutani grumbled.

"I'm pretty sure you're whatever Yahaba wants you to be," Kindaichi muttered. There was a brief, stunned moment of silence, as Kindaichi realized he had voiced his thoughts, and Kyoutani had heard, and oh no Kindaichi was going to die. At least he wouldn't have to do any more paperwork or deal with any more strange crises.

"You little-" Kyoutani rounded on Kindaichi, intent on expressing just how displeased he was with the air mage's comment, and Kindaichi backpedaled, sending pleading glances to Yahaba, who looked entirely too amused at Kindaichi's plight. A snicker rose from the middle of the room, and Kyoutani and Kindaichi both stopped in their tracks, turning to stare at Yachi, the source of said snickering. Yachi never snickered. Especially not in Kyoutani's presence, because she was always way too nervous around the guardian spirit.

"She got possessed by an ocean spirit," Kiyoko said before anyone could decide quite how to react to a snickering familiar with a fish tail instead of legs.

"Ocean spirits can't possess people," Kindaichi objected, glancing at Kunimi. "No nature spirit can. And the closest demons get is people like the Warden."

"I'm just a very special snowflake," Yachi chirped. "Or, well. I'm a special little wave of water and saltiness."

"She's definitely got something in her that shouldn't be there," Kyoutani grumbled. Yachi pouted, and when the rain paused, she turned and glared at Kunimi.

"Don't let me dry out!" she whined. Kunimi's eyebrow twitched, but the rain resumed. Yachi flopped happily, her fish tail slapping the puddle happily, and the water splashed farther than anyone thought it would. Yahaba grimaced. He did what he could to avoid letting Kyoutani and Patch get wet, because he did _not_ want to smell wet dog for days. Unfortunately, since there was no dirt to work with, keeping Kyoutani and Patch from getting splashed meant that Yahaba himself managed to get completely soaked, which was rather unpleasant, because the water was unnecessarily cold, and as an earth mage with a particular affinity for soil, Yahaba wasn't a fan of water anyway.

"Okay, so I'm more willing to believe the possession thing now," Kindaichi announced. "But I have no idea how to get rid of it."

"That's so rude!" Yachi complained. "I'm right here, you know!" Yahaba and Kyoutani gave her eerily similar unimpressed looks.

"That's the problem," Yahaba pointed out.

"I'm just passing through. Don't worry, there shouldn't be any damage to whoever this is I'm borrowing," Yachi assured them. Kiyoko's eyes narrowed, and she crouched in front of her familiar, just far enough away that the rain wasn't hitting her.

"I want you out of my familiar so I can have Yahaba sic Kyoutani on you," Kiyoko said calmly. Yachi's eyes widened.

"That's not a very good incentive for leaving this body," Yachi squeaked.

"Kunimi's going to fall asleep soon, and then you won't have any rain to lay in," Kindaichi said. "And you can't stay there forever, so once you leave that form..." Yachi drew herself up, then let out a shriek that made everyone hiss and cover their ears.

"It's not just any ocean spirit," Kunimi piped up, eyes wide. Apparently the sound had woken him right up. "It's part siren."

"Is that even possible?" Kindaichi yelped as another screech left Yachi's throat. Patch whined, hiding behind Kyoutani's legs.

"Considering the week we've had, anything is possible," Yahaba grumbled as Yachi fell silent, rubbing her throat.

"This body isn't suited for my magic as well as I thought it was," she pouted. "So I guess you get your wish." Yachi's body tensed, then was suddenly engulfed in a wave of sea brine that seemed to spontaneously appear.The brine formed into something that vaguely resembled a person, turned as though eyeing Kyoutani warily, then launched itself past Kunimi and out the window. Everyone focused on Yachi, who now apparently had her regular human form legs back. The healer opened her mouth, and Kunimi flinched, half expecting another horrible shriek despite the apparent escape of the ocean spirit or siren or whatever that thing was.

Instead, no sound came out. Yachi's eyes flew wide and fixed on Kiyoko, and she looked like she was trying to say something, her mouth moving and her arms starting to flail desperately, but she still didn't make a sound.

"Please don't tell me we have to hunt that thing down and get Yachi's voice back," Yahaba groaned, because that would exactly fall in line with the kind of week they were having.

"Calm down," Kiyoko said, catching Yachi's flailing hands in her own and holding them gently. "It's probably just a sore throat from the shrieking. Since there was probably magic in the noises, I don't want to heal it with more magic. Can you try not to talk for a day or two?" Yachi nodded, and Kiyoko smiled reassuringly.

"So that means we don't have to chase the spirit thing, right?" Kunimi murmured.

"I don't know, I kind of want Yahaba to make Kyoutani fetch it," Kindaichi mused. Kunimi moved closer to the wall. Yachi froze. Kiyoko looked up at Kindaichi with something that might have been approval or pity, he didn't really get a good look before Kyoutani seized his shirt and pushed him against the wall, growling in a rather wolflike manner.

"Kyoutani," Yahaba sighed. Then, with a spark of mischief in his eyes, because as much as Yahaba loved his familiar, sometimes it was fun to rile him up, he added, "Down, boy." Kyoutani let go of Kindaichi and turned, giving Yahaba the most betrayed kicked-puppy look anyone could imagine on the guardian spirit's usually scowling face. Kindaichi slid to the floor, gaping at Yahaba.

"Did you really just say that after he pinned me to the wall and was probably going to murder me right here?" Kindaichi demanded. Yahaba met Kindaichi's gaze for a long moment.

"Maybe I like it when Kyoutani pins me to the wall," Yahaba said with a completely straight face. There was a long moment of utter, disbelieving silence. "Sometimes I'd rather be the one doing the pinning, though." Yachi looked like she was going to fall over. Kiyoko was staring at them. Kunimi looked like he wanted to go to sleep and pretend this was all some sort of strange dream. Kindaichi was pretty sure his face was embarrassingly red as he outright gaped at the earth mage and his familiar. Then Kyoutani growled.

"Kiyoko, could you watch Patch for a bit, please?" Kyoutani asked, tone surprisingly level. The healer nodded. Kyoutani then scooped Yahaba up into his arms and stalked off with him. Patch trotted over to Kiyoko and Yachi, and Kindaichi let his head fall back until it hit the wall.

Kindaichi decided he didn't get paid enough for this, especially because on top of getting shrieked at by something that really shouldn't have been able to do any of what it did that day, and then almost getting killed by Kyoutani for letting his mouth get ahead of his brain, Kindaichi was now apparently stuck with doing the paperwork for the incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rip Kindaichi


	10. The Rat Chef

Kindaichi deposited Kunimi at the table the Guildmaster and ranking mages usually ate at, then went to the counter to retrieve a tray of food for each of them. He'd recieved a message from Iwaizumi shortly after the ocean-spirit-slash-siren-possessing-Yachi thing got cleared up, informing him that the Guildmaster would be returning sometime in the afternoon the next day. Kindaichi had struggled to contain his relief as he assured Iwaizumi that everything would be ready for their return. Just one more night, and one more morning, and if he could keep the Guild Hall intact and everyone in their proper forms through lunch, Oikawa would be back and any further magical crises would be _Oikawa's_ problem, and Kindaichi could go back to his usual duties, which were much less stressful and pretty much included organizing training and patrols and making sure the quartermasters had supplies ready for everyone when needed. Kindaichi picked up the first two trays he saw and turned back toward Kunimi. As he did so, he glanced over the counter and into the kitchen...and stopped.

_No. This isn't happening._

But apparently it was, because when Kindaichi looked away and then back, the view was unchanged. None of the usual cooks were in the kitchen. Instead, a single - very large - tan rat was perched beside the food still being prepared, and the creature seemed to be cooking said food.

"Please no," Kindaichi whined out loud. Yahaba, who had just walked up to the counter with Kyoutani, Patch bouncing at their heels, gave Kindaichi a confused look.

"What's wrong?" Yahaba asked, his tone wary.

"Do you see what I'm seeing?" Kindaichi asked, not taking his eyes off the rat that was _cooking food in the Guild Hall kitchen_. Yahaba and Kyoutani both turn their attention to the kitchen.

"Are you seeing a rat cooking things?" Yahaba asked faintly.

"Oh, good. I'm not halucinating," Kindaichi sighed, relieved.

"Why is a rat cooking?" Kyoutani asked.

"At least it hasn't frozen the castle," Kindaichi muttered. "But what do we do about it?" Kindaichi's gaze shifted involuntarily to Kyoutani, who met his eyes with a glare.

"I am a wolf, not a rat terrier," the guardian spirit informed him sourly.

"I'm pretty sure wolves will eat rodents if they're hungry enough," Yahaba mused. Kyoutani growled, and Kindaichi took a step away from the pair before he voiced his thoughts.

"It's probably magical, so having Kyoutani eat it wouldn't be a good idea," he said. Yahaba hummed thoughtfully.

"Let's go talk to it, then," the earth mage suggested. Kindaichi hesitated, glancing at the trays he was still holding, then sighed.

"Let me put these down first," he grumbled. Yahaba and Kyoutani waited as Kindaichi carried the trays to where Kunimi was waiting and set them on the table. His familiar looked up at him, hunger overriding drowsiness enough that Kunimi looked more awake than usual. "There's a rat in the kitchen. Apparently it's cooking," Kindaichi informed his familiar. Kunimi glanced at the food, then up at Kindaichi, apparently evaluating whether or not he was hungry enough to eat food possibly prepared by a rat. Kunimi gave the food one last glance, then stood and walked toward the counter, apparently deciding that dealing with the rat was more important than eating. Kindaichi followed, wondering how much paperwork this whole rat business was going to cause.

"It's baking now," Yahaba told them as they walked up. Kindaichi peered into the kitchen and found that the earth mage was right. The rat appeared to be baking a cake now.

"Do you think it killed the usual cooks?" Kunimi murmured.

"I hope not. They promised to make treats for Patch tomorrow," Kyoutani sighed. Kindaichi and Kunimi stared at the guardian spirit for a second, then slowly returned their attention to the rat, which seemed to have noticed them, because it left its task and scampered along the counter until it reached them. Up close, they could see that the rat had darker flecks of brown on its muzzle.

 _Hello! I'm Suzumeda! Did you enjoy your meal?_ The faintly feminine voice echoed in their minds. Yahaba blinked. Kindaichi groaned.

"I knew it. It's a magical rat," the air mage groaned. Yahaba frowned at him, then turned to the rat.

"It's nice to meet you. We haven't had a chance to eat, yet," he told it. The rat's ears drooped.

_Oh. You're here to tell me to leave, aren't you?_

"Not necessarily," Kunimi murmured. "Kindaichi, you didn't say it was a magical rat." Kunimi frowned at his mage, then turned and went back to the table, sat down, and promptly started eating. Kindaichi stared after his familiar for a long moment.

"I guess lake spirits aren't too picky with who cooks their food," Kyoutani observed.

"Where are the actual cooks?" Kindaichi demanded, trying to get the conversation back on track.

 _They were complaining about some enchanter who's supposed to be on dish washing duty, and then the enchanter accidentally froze them. I think it was supposed to be a strengthening charm, but it came out a stiffening one,_ the rat named Suzumeda told them. Yahaba and Kindaichi exchanged horrified looks.

"Koganegawa," they realized.

"Futakuchi is still off with that glacier spirit," Kindaichi groaned.

"We told Koganegawa he wasn't allowed to use magic until Futakuchi gets back," Yahaba grimaced. "Didn't we?"

"Does this mean that the cooks are stuck until either Futakuchi or Oikawa gets back?" Kyoutani asked.

"That, or we can try to contact the crows. Don't they have someone who can cancel magic?" Kindaichi pointed out.

"I thought that guy could only suppress it, not cancel existing spells," Yahaba replied.

 _Does this mean I can stay and cook more?_ Suzumeda asked.

"Why not?" Kindaichi sighed. "It's probably the least crazy thing that's happened this week."

"Speaking of crazy things," Yahaba said. "Didn't Matsukawa and Hanamaki used to lay traps for Oikawa when he was gone?" Kindaichi slowly turned to face the earth mage, who had a very pointedly innocent expression on his face.

"Yes, they did," Kindaichi replied. "Why?"

"I was just thinking, after everything Oikawa's absence has put us through, we should get a little bit of amusement out of the whole ordeal," Yahaba explained with a shrug. "It shouldn't be too hard to set something up." Kindaichi nodded thoughtfully, while Kyoutani looked nervous for once.

"We aren't going to take anything out on Iwaizumi, are we?" the guardian spirit asked tentatively.

"Of course not," Yahaba assured him. "Now let's get our food and go eat while we pretend it wasn't cooked by a rat, and try to figure out what to do about the cooks and Koganegawa." Kyoutani relaxed, then picked up two trays and went to the table Kunimi was sitting at, Patch following happily. Yahaba hung back for a moment, exchanging a meaningful glance with Kindaichi.

"You're planning on pranking Iwaizumi, too, aren't you?" Kindaichi sighed.

"He's the one who kidnapped Oikawa, so this mess is at least half his fault," Yahaba pointed out. Kindaichi shook his head, resigning himself. After all, if Yahaba thought he could prank their Guildmaster _and_ a war god and get away with it, Kindaichi didn't want to be added to the list of people Yahaba blamed for how much trouble the week had been.

"We'll figure out what to do with the whole cooking situation once the regular cooks aren't under a spell gone wrong anymore," Kindaichi told Suzumeda as Yahaba headed for the table.

 _You're going to let me stay?_ the rat exclaimed happily.

"I said we'll figure it out later," Kindaichi replied. "Oikawa will probably make the final decision when he gets back." With a pleased squeak, the little animal made its way back to the cake it had been decorating. Kindaichi wondered if maybe Oikawa overworked himself so much because he dealt with stuff like this all the time, and Kindaichi just hadn't been aware of it until he was left in charge.

That was a mildly terrifying thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are going to be two more chapters of this. One will be things that happen the morning after this chapter, and the other will be the afternoon, when Oikawa is supposed to return.


	11. The Flying Carpet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zadabug98 wanted Aladdin shenanigans, and this is what happened.  
> Also, next chapter: Oikawa and Iwaizumi return!

There was screaming coming from the courtyard, and Kindaichi really, really didn't want to investigate. Kunimi had jerked awake at the first scream, then promptly switched from human form to his true lake mist shape, then flowed into a bottle on one of the bookshelves in the Guildmaster's office. Kindaichi frowned at the bottle, then sighed. Another scream reached him from the courtyard, and he decided he didn't have time to coax his sleepy familiar out of the bottle. Instead, he went to the window, opened it, and leaned out.

If Kindaichi had thought the rat cooking the food had been weird, Suzumeda's appearance had nothing on this. One of the new mages - Kindaichi only vaguely recognized him as some teenager with bed head that he was pretty sure was actually supposed to be a fire mage, although no one had been able to get him to actually use his magic since he'd shown up on their doorstep a week after the war ended - was clinging desperately to what seemed to be some sort of...flying carpet?

Kindaichi groaned. Had someone let new mages near the magic market in town without telling them that buying enchanted items without having a capable Guild enchanter look at them first was a _bad idea_? How else would anyone get something like that? Unless Koganegawa had tried to enchant it, but Kindaichi was pretty sure that flying objects required enchanter and air magic to work, so there was no way this was another incident of Koganegawa's magic going wrong. Right?

The carpet swerved, then twisted and shot up into the sky. Kindaichi groaned and hopped up onto the window sill, reaching out with his magic to sense the air around the carpet. As he'd suspected, there were traces of air magic stirring up a wind to keep the thing aloft, so all Kindaichi had to do to take control was make his own winds stronger than the ones generated by the enchantment. This was easier said than done, unfortunately. Kindaichi growled to himself, struggling to generate strong enough wind. The carpet rose higher, and Kindaichi sighed. He was too far away, and couldn't sense the air currents well enough to put his full power into what he was doing. The mage on the carpet was still screaming, which didn't help his concentration _at all_.

"Kindaichi!" The air mage looked down and saw one of the people in the courtyard waving at him. Kindaichi blinked, then realized it was Yahaba. "Knock him off!" Yahaba shouted. Kindaichi hesitated, then decided that the earth mage must have a plan, so he shifted his concentration from the currents holding the carpet up to the mage actually on it. It didn't take nearly as much strength to dislodge the carpet's unfortunate passenger. The mage tumbled off the flying carpet with a yelp. Before Kindaichi could reach out to slow his descent, the earth in the courtyard shifted, propelling a huge golden shape upwards: Kyoutani in his wolf form. The wolf's jaws closed around the mage's shirt, snatching him out of the air and tugging him closer to the wolf. For a second, the two hung in the air. Then the wolf twisted, so Kyoutani was beneath the mage, and they fell. Kinadaichi reached out, slowing their fall as much as he could, and he saw the ground shift again, seeming to soften in the seconds before they landed.

Still, Kyoutani landed heavily on his side, the mage landing on top of him. Kindaichi winced in sympathy, then glanced around for the carpet. The enchanted rug was still circling overhead, and Kindaichi sighed. He'd have to go to one of the towers to get high enough to reach it now. He grabbed the bottle Kunimi was still hiding in, then headed for the tower closest to where the flying carpet was circling.

In the courtyard below, Yahaba pulled the mage off of Kyoutani and set him aside.

"Stay right there," Yahaba ordered. The younger mage seemed much less panicked now that he was on the ground again. He'd stopped yelling, and now just looked kind of bored and maybe a little tired. Yahaba shook his head, then turned toward Kyoutani. "You okay?" His familiar returned to human form to glare up at him properly.

"I just got used as a landing pad by a mage stupid enough to try using a damn flying carpet," Kyoutani grumbled. "No, I'm not okay." Yahaba chuckled.

"It could be worse," the earth mage pointed out.

"How?" Kyoutani snapped.

"You could have gotten hurt," Yahaba replied. His familiar grumbled under his breath. When he sat up, he snarled and grabbed his shoulder. "Kyoutani?" Yahaba crouched beside him, worry replacing his amusement.

"You spoke too soon," Kyoutani growled. "I think I landed on my shoulder." Yahaba's jaw clenched, and he stood. Watari walked up, intending to check the young mage, only for Yahaba to redirect him toward Kyoutani with a single glare, which he then turned on said young mage. 

"You. What's your name?" Yahaba demanded. The mage didn't seem intimidated by Yahaba, which was his second mistake - his first, of course, being using the flying carpet.

"Kuguri," the mage answered.

"Well, Kuguri, you brought an unauthorized enchanted item into the Guild Hall, caused quite a commotion, and now you've injured my familiar. Why?" Yahaba growled. Kuguri tilted his head, apparently confused.

"Because the castle is huge, and a magic carpet seemed like a good alternative to walking?" he said. Yahaba closed his eyes and tried to regain the calm demeanor that seemed to be escaping him this week.

"It's not," the earth mage sighed. "Now get yourself looked at by the healers, then go to your quarters and stay there until Kindaichi decides what to do with you." Kuguri shrugged and left, and Yahaba turned to Kyoutani.

"I didn't think you cared so much about the banned magical items list," Kyoutani commented. Yahaba raised an eyebrow.

"Is that what you think I'm mad about?" he asked. Kyoutani grinned, and Patch scampered over to them.

"Of course not. So are we going to let Kindaichi handle the rest of this?" the guardian spirit asked, glancing up to where the enchanted carpet was still circling and noting that a vaguely Kindaichi-shaped figure was perched on top of the tower closest to it.

"Yeah. You and I are going to set up some nice surprises for our dear Guildmaster," Yahaba replied.


	12. The Guildmaster's Return

Kindaichi and Kunimi - who had finally emerged from the bottle he'd been hiding in - picked their way carefully over the layer of shimmering air that lay just above the floor in the hallway, all the way to the doorway of the Guildmaster's office. Yahaba and Kyoutani, already in the room, wore matching grins when they noticed how carefully the other pair was walking. Kyoutani was holding Patch, because the puppy had been too interested in the traps that were being set up.

"Don't worry, Kyoutani has better control over his protection spells than that," Yahaba assured them. "You two won't get caught in anything, as long as you don't have mud on your shoes." Kunimi didn't seem affected by this, but Kindaichi relaxed slightly. "Did you two take care of your end?"

"Of course we did," Kindaichi replied. "Kiyoko and Yachi should be here any minute, too," he added. "But they don't know."

"Don't know what?" Kiyoko asked, slipping past Kindaichi and Kunimi into the room.

"How much paperwork we had to do after the magic carpet thing," Yahaba replied smoothly. Kindaichi shot the earth mage a glare, because Yahaba hadn't done _any_ of the paperwork, citing Kyoutani's injured shoulder as a reason to go off and hide. "But the Guildmaster will be back any minute, and then it'll all be his headache again."

"Not quite," a familiar voice countered. Everyone turned toward the desk and found Oikawa grinning at them from his chair, Iwaizumi standing beside him. "We're back!" Oikawa sang cheerfully. "I hope you all didn't get into too much trouble while we were gone!"

"Kyoutani killed a group of bandits and then accidentally scared Yachi," Yahaba replied.

"Yahaba and Kyoutani got lost in the woods," Kindaichi added.

"Yachi tried a new sleeping spell and it went horribly," Kunimi piped up. "I was the only one awake and it was terrible."

"Koganegawa trapped his familiar in frog shape," Kyoutani put in.

"An angry glacier spirit froze the castle, then took Futakuchi off to defrost some stuff for him, and we haven't heard from them since," Yahaba said.

"Kyoutani brought an unholy number of puppies home, and Yahaba let him keep one," Kindaichi said, pointing to Patch, who helpfully yipped and wagged his tail.

"Yahaba got poisoned, and we're not sure what exactly happened to the guy, because Kindaichi and Watari and the others left him unattended with the poisoner while yachi and I were gathering herbs," Kiyoko sighed.

"Kiyoko got trapped in a crumbling tower!" Yachi wailed.

"Yachi got possessed by an ocean spirit siren hybrid and turned into a mermaid," Yahaba put in.

"Koganegawa sort of enchanted our cooks so they can't move, and a magical rat has been cooking all of the food, because we couldn't get anyone to undo his enchantment," Kindaichi admitted.

"And Kuguri brought in a flying carpet and nearly squashed Kyoutani," Yahaba finished. Oikawa, whose expression had been growing more and more incredulous and downright _horrified_ , just stared at them for a very, very long moment. Next to him, Iwaizumi was hiding his face with his hands, possibly amused, dismayed, or a combination thereof.

"So that was our week. How was yours?" Kindaichi asked tentatively.

"Well, I got kidnapped," Oikawa started. Iwaizumi lifted his head to glare at the enchanter, who just grinned at him, although the expression seemed a little strained after hearing everything that had happened in his absence. "And I spent the whole week thoroughly enjoying Iwa-chan's company and rather forceful caretaking methods."

"Yeah, we knew that part," Kindaichi grumbled. "Watari asked me to pass on a complaint about Iwaizumi's priorities." Oikawa frowned and glanced at Iwaizumi in confusion, who met his gaze steadily, with not one hint of remorse.

"Now that you're so refreshed," Yahaba began, "Do you think you could go and get the cooks out of Koganegawa's enchantment? As much as Suzumeda likes cooking, I think she would be happy to have the cooks back."

"Suzumeda?" Oikawa repeated blankly.

"The rat who's been cooking for the whole Guild," Kindaichi explained. Oikawa groaned and leaned forward, intending to let his head thump onto his desk. Instead of wood, however, he was met with a layer of damp earth that coated the surface. The Guildmaster lifted his head, frowning at the sensation of...was that mud he felt on his face? Kiyoko's eyes widened, and she glanced questioningly at Yahaba, who simply smiled serenely. Oikawa's eyes narrowed as he reached up to wipe the dirt off, but his fingers met only shimmering air as the protection spell hidden in the dirt activated. Kyoutani hid his grin in Patch's fur. Iwaizumi couldn't see Oikawa's face from where he was standing, so he didn't notice right away.

"Don't you have something to tell them, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi prompted. Oikawa huffed.

"Kindaichi, you're second in command now, and Yahaba is third. Now _get this off me_!" Oikawa wailed. Iwaizumi blinked, then leaned forward to see what was on Oikawa's face.

"You know, you really should've expected that," Iwaizumi sighed. "Matsukawa and Hanamaki always pulled stuff like this if you left them in charge." Kindaichi tensed, and Yahaba's calm expression wavered. Then Oikawa groaned dramatically.

"I thought Kindaichi and Yahaba at least respected me!" he whined. Kindaichi relaxed; it seemed like Oikawa was back to his old self.

"Oh, we respect you, Guildmaster," Yahaba assured him. "We just also want you to know how very, very long our week has been."

"The cooks?" Kindaichi prompted. Oikawa nodded and stood. He and Iwaizumi made their way to the door, pausing just inside the doorway, beside Kiyoko. Neither of them noticed that there was a suspicious layer of dirt on the floor around Oikawa's desk, or that the dirt clung to their shoes as they walked.

"Welcome back, Guildmaster," Kiyoko murmured. Oikawa grinned.

"It's good to be back," he replied. Then he stepped through the doorway, Iwaizumi on his heels, and the protection spell on the floor repelled the dirt on their shoes, sending them both sprawling on the floor in the hallway. For a long minute, there was silence.

"I thought you were only going to make the dirt stick to Oikawa's shoes," Kyoutani grumbled in Yahaba's ear. The earth mage turned to his familiar, expression open and innocent.

"Oops," he said. "My mistake." Kyoutani frowned at him.

"The cooks," Kindaichi reminded them. Oikawa got to his feet carefully, only to slip again, because Kyoutani's spell against dirt still covered the hallway. Oikawa yelped and went down. Iwaizumi managed to stand, leaning against the wall and glaring over his shoulder at the mages and familiars still inside Oikawa's office. The war god took a small step, and was sent careening down the hallway, letting out some of the most undignified yelping noises any of the others had ever heard. Oikawa snickered as he managed to stand as well, but after seeing what happened to Iwaizumi, the enchanter tried to step back into the office, onto unwarded floor. A short puff of air pushed him off balance, and Oikawa twisted as he fell to properly glare indignantly at Kindaichi.

"We're going to get you back for this," Oikawa announced. Yahaba smiled sweetly. Kyoutani was staring after Iwaizumi, a look of mingled horror and regret on his features.

"I'm sure you are," Yahaba replied. "But first, you have some cooks to save. And then you have to go over the week's reports and sign them, and then..."

"Iwa-chan is going to help me get you back," Oikawa grumbled. Kyoutani took a step back. Kindaichi paled.

"He never got involved after Matsukawa and Hanamaki's pranks," Kunimi murmured.

"Makki and Mattsun never sent Iwa-chan skidding down the hallway, squealing like a scared child," Oikawa countered. Kunimi looked around, probably for the bottle he'd been hiding in earlier.

"He's the one who kidnapped you, even if it was for your own good, so this time Iwaizumi is at least partially to blame," Yahaba stated calmly. "Surely a war god will understand that."

"He'll also understand my need to calm down by getting revenge," Oikawa said haughtily.

"Iwaizumi's the responsible one. He won't let this get out of hand," Kindaichi said tentatively.

"Yachi and I had nothing to do with this," Kiyoko announced. "We'll meet you in the kitchen in case the cooks need healing after being stuck in the same place for so long." The healer pair made their way carefully passed Oikawa, then down the hall. They paused beside Iwaizumi, who had ended up in a heap at the end of the hallway, noted that he didn't seem to be injured, and then continued towards the kitchen. Oikawa grumbled and started pulling off his shoes. If his shoes had the dirt on them, and the floor was repelling dirt, then taking off his shoes would solve the problem, he reasoned. It seemed he was correct, because he made it down the hall to where Iwaizumi was without falling again. Once he was out of earshot, Yahaba turned to Kindaichi.

"You said you got your part set up. Did you really manage it?" Yahaba asked.

"I told you we did. I flew that stupid carpet through the smelliest parts of the castle and village, then parked it under their bed, and altered the air currents in that part of the castle so the smell won't bother anyone else. Just them," Kindaichi replied. Yahaba grinned. Kunimi yawned. Kyoutani sighed and hid his face in Patch's fur again.

So at the end of a week filled with weird magic, their Guildmaster was back, the gaps in the command structure had been filled, and the four of them may or may not have just started a magical prank war with said Guildmaster and his war god familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! This was super fun to write!  
> I have a couple origin oneshots planned, and of course I'll be working on The Amalgam Tournament, so stay tuned! The AU that never ends isn't done yet!

**Author's Note:**

> Just so everyone knows, comments are welcome and will improve my update speed.


End file.
